Polluting the Teachings

I subscribe to Tricycle, a magazine I came across on line that looked to be something that could enrich my practice. It is expensive for a magazine and only comes out four times a year.
My first volume (XVII NO.3 Spring 2008) arrived in the very early spring and proved to be more than I had imagined.
At night I often draw a bath and relax while reading an article. So full are these articles that I often then spend a week or more digesting the ideas, meditating on the lessons, reading the article again in smaller segments, and seeing often that what I understood to be true was not the truth at all. Then I gain a glimpse of understanding.
last night, as our last cold night of spring settled in I set to covering the newly planted hydrangea, the planter by the porch steps, and the vegetable plants in order to protect them from the frost. Cold and tired after a long day at work I headed upstairs for a bath and to read an article on the misunderstanding of mindfulness by B. Alan Wallace.
Within a paragraph I came to see that I myself had a complete misunderstanding of sati (mindfulness), mistaking it for what is known as satimanasikara (mental engagement). As I read my ideas unraveled and I came to see, I came to understand, that I know nothing about the things I speak.
As I got out of the bath I felt strangely energized. I dressed and went into the meditation room to sit with what I had read. My practice was transformed. What had been the procedure of meditation was now so much more. My breath was more than breath, my mind was so still yet so alive.
That night I ate differently, I awoke the next morning differently, I worked in the yard differently. As I logged onto my computer a Buddhist quote came up on my homepage. To teach one must first understand so as not to pollute the pure Dharma.
I see that I, in hopes of spreading a practice I believe to be the cornerstone of ending the suffering in our lives and in the world, pollute the teachings due to my amature understanding of the profound teaching of the Buddhas.
I have done it in my daily life trying to show a better way and I have done it here.
With this understanding I plan to now focus more on my understanding of the Dharma.
I will post ideas and teachings I come across so that anyone that comes to this page may use them to reflect and meditate upon but I will exclude my own thoughts or comments from here on.

To be awake.

Often we try to be so many things, even in the practice. We try to be compassionate, we try to be loving, we try to listen, we try to be more than we are, we try to be less what we don't want to be.
In truth all we need to be is awake.


It is said that soon after his enlightenment the Buddha passed a man on the road who was struck by the Buddha's extraordinary radiance and peaceful presence. The man stopped and asked, "My friend, what are you? Are you a celestial being or a god?"
"No," said the Buddha.
"Well , then, are you some kind of magician or wizard?"
Again, the Buddha answered, "No."
"Are you an man?"
"No."
Well, my friend, then what are you?"
The Buddha replied, "I am awake."

Buddhism as the inclusive path of optimism

may those who lose their way and stray
in misery, find fellow travelers,
and safe from threat from thieves and savage beasts
be tireless, and their journey light.
-shantideva

Breathing

Breathing in I feel calm
Breathing out I smile
Breathing in I dwell in the present moment
Breathing out it is the most wonderful moment.

Not to want

Its Saturday morning. The chill in the room hovers around your quilts and blankets. Wrapped in the warmth of your self made papoose the bed begs you to stay, but you have to work. You sigh with frustration, "God, I wish I didn't have to get up. I HATE working Saturdays."
So there you are, awake for 5 minutes and already you have replaces the happy comfort of a warm bed with frustration and anger. With this you start your day.
So much of our frustration in life comes from want. The very act of wanting issues the awareness that you are lacking.
When we recognize this and start to eliminate the want in our lives its amazing how much want we actually have. Even down to simple actions. When the trash can is full you can take it out to the dumpster like needs to be done, or you can think about how you don't want to take the trash out as you take it to the dumpster. One method the chore is done, the other its done with suffering.
Its these little things that create the whole of our suffering in life. The minute by minute details of our thinking. Want is like a weed in our garden of consciousness. Once we quite watering the seeds of want within us, we find our lives blossoming into the reality we have created, thus freeing us to love ourselves, our lives, and those around us.

The Collection of Indicative Verses Says:

Those involved in carelessness
Are childish people who ruin their minds.
As master traders guard their wealth,
So should the wise take care.
- Lam Rim Chen Mo Vol. 1
Tsong-Kha-pa

...although they wish for happiness, out of ignorance they destroy it like a foe. -Buddhist Master Shantideva

Our happiness has always been a choice. When problems arise we make a decision in regards to how we will perceive the situation and what action we will bring forth. The idea of seeing a problem as an opportunity instead of a barrier is a main tenant in many self help programs. These situations that challenge and strengthen our ability to stay mindful, seeing things for what they are versus what we perceive them to be, happen to us daily and are easily recognized. But what about our perception of happiness?
We all have an idea of what happiness is. For some its hitting the open road with a great mix on the iPod and no destination in mind. For others its curling up with a dog, a good book, and some vanilla almond tea. We see these things as making us happy but often its our idea of happiness that creates our unhappiness. A family obligation may cause you to have to cancel your road trip or an unexpected guest arrives causing you to have to put down your book and play host. Its at these times we need to practice right view and see the situation for what it is. You and your guest can have great time hanging out. Your happiness shifts from a good book to a good friend. Or you can feel frustration and let your happiness end when the guest knocks on the door. You may choose to enjoy your time with your family shifting happiness from the open road to your parents, siblings, and nephews, or be angry and unpleasant ending your happiness at the disruption of your plans.
How often have we heard "This is great but not as good as...." This perception lessens our enjoyment by interjecting the idea that its a lesser experience. In the present moment its all there is. It is the practice that we enjoy what is now allowing it to stand on its own without comparison.
Plans often challenge our happiness. I know many people that plan how an evening will play out before it even begins. This causes them to be unable to go with the natural flow of the evening and when it begins to plot its own course they are unable to let go of there perception of the perfect evening and thus quit having a good time.
Our happiness effects the happiness of those around us and depends on our degree of right view. Seeing clearly, touching reality, knowing what really going on inside and out is the way to liberate ourselves from the suffering caused by these wrong perception. This is the first step in the noble eightfold path.