Polluting the Teachings

I subscribe to Tricycle, a magazine I came across on line that looked to be something that could enrich my practice. It is expensive for a magazine and only comes out four times a year.
My first volume (XVII NO.3 Spring 2008) arrived in the very early spring and proved to be more than I had imagined.
At night I often draw a bath and relax while reading an article. So full are these articles that I often then spend a week or more digesting the ideas, meditating on the lessons, reading the article again in smaller segments, and seeing often that what I understood to be true was not the truth at all. Then I gain a glimpse of understanding.
last night, as our last cold night of spring settled in I set to covering the newly planted hydrangea, the planter by the porch steps, and the vegetable plants in order to protect them from the frost. Cold and tired after a long day at work I headed upstairs for a bath and to read an article on the misunderstanding of mindfulness by B. Alan Wallace.
Within a paragraph I came to see that I myself had a complete misunderstanding of sati (mindfulness), mistaking it for what is known as satimanasikara (mental engagement). As I read my ideas unraveled and I came to see, I came to understand, that I know nothing about the things I speak.
As I got out of the bath I felt strangely energized. I dressed and went into the meditation room to sit with what I had read. My practice was transformed. What had been the procedure of meditation was now so much more. My breath was more than breath, my mind was so still yet so alive.
That night I ate differently, I awoke the next morning differently, I worked in the yard differently. As I logged onto my computer a Buddhist quote came up on my homepage. To teach one must first understand so as not to pollute the pure Dharma.
I see that I, in hopes of spreading a practice I believe to be the cornerstone of ending the suffering in our lives and in the world, pollute the teachings due to my amature understanding of the profound teaching of the Buddhas.
I have done it in my daily life trying to show a better way and I have done it here.
With this understanding I plan to now focus more on my understanding of the Dharma.
I will post ideas and teachings I come across so that anyone that comes to this page may use them to reflect and meditate upon but I will exclude my own thoughts or comments from here on.

To be awake.

Often we try to be so many things, even in the practice. We try to be compassionate, we try to be loving, we try to listen, we try to be more than we are, we try to be less what we don't want to be.
In truth all we need to be is awake.


It is said that soon after his enlightenment the Buddha passed a man on the road who was struck by the Buddha's extraordinary radiance and peaceful presence. The man stopped and asked, "My friend, what are you? Are you a celestial being or a god?"
"No," said the Buddha.
"Well , then, are you some kind of magician or wizard?"
Again, the Buddha answered, "No."
"Are you an man?"
"No."
Well, my friend, then what are you?"
The Buddha replied, "I am awake."

Buddhism as the inclusive path of optimism

may those who lose their way and stray
in misery, find fellow travelers,
and safe from threat from thieves and savage beasts
be tireless, and their journey light.
-shantideva